My mothers words..........

 The leaves are dropping.    Autumn is in full swing.    My parents love to walk the garden and see the changes.    For the first time ever my mother failed to do so.    She is very frail now.
Her weight loss, lack of appetite and other medical problems have left her weak.    We have many hospital visits ahead.    My mother is very stoic, she never gives up, but I have seen changes recently.    She has lost her sparkle......that little twinkle in her eye, that tells me all is well.
We have had many moments where I have had to swallow hard and keep my emotions well hidden.
When I left her on Friday she called me back.    Her words were unexpected.
"I have made many mistakes in my life Cheryl.   You were not one of them.    You have always been my sunshine."    I hugged her gently, kissed her on the cheek and left.    I pulled up along the lane, and found I was crying.   

Yesterday I took Nella to the woods.    I took my lunch with me and sat amongst the ancients.
I find nature helps me to heal and shows me the way.     I needed this time alone.....apart from my little dog.     I spent two hours wandering the forest........coming to terms with what might lay ahead.
I am following an unknown path....nothing is clear at this time.    All I know is my parents have always been there for me.   In my darkest moments and in my moments of joy.     
My father has his own health issues and is finding it hard to cope with mother.
I can see and feel his sorrow........

I leave the forest behind.......my little dog sitting on the seat next to me.    I feel refreshed, ready to start another week.      I give thanks to Mother Earth..........